Thank you so much for visiting my blog. As a competitor for Ms. Health & Fitness 2022, each day I will share something I have learned on my journey to wellness. If I inspire and motivate you on your journey please take a moment to vote. It's quick, it's easy and best of all, it's free. Then come back each day to read more.
Don't make happiness your goal...
So many of us go through life looking for happiness. I'm no different. I spent almost 20 years trying to 'find ' happiness in an abusive marriage. Like most tumultuous relationships it didn't start out that way and there were good times. But towards the end I found myself thinking "I'll be happy when... he stops drinking, he's on the right meds, or when the weather is nice, or when we go on vacation..." I kept searching for happiness as the end goal. And that's the problem for a lot of us. Happiness is not meant to be a goal.
Happiness is a direction, not a place.
"The world is your oyster. It's up to you to find the pearls." ~ Chris Gardner
Happiness is not where we are heading. It is where we are. Like Ferris Bueller said, 'life moves pretty fast. If you don't slow down and pay attention you might miss it.' Sometimes we are so busy trying to get to the moment that we expect to make us happy that we forget to be happy with what we have along the way. When I feel overwhelmed or stressed and take a step back I often realize I am not making the time for the things that make me happy or the people I enjoy doing them with. One thing I have learned from my wellness journey is that we need to enjoy the process. Life is the ultimate process. If you can't enjoy it then what's the point?
Happiness starts with you
"Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions." ~ Dalai Lama
I remember the first time someone told me I could create my own happiness, that all I had to do was choose to be happy. I remember thinking wtf?? I was in the middle of a divorce, dealing with drug addiction in my family, taking care of my grandson, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and I was slowly gaining weight. Nothing seemed to be going my way. So how could I simply 'choose' to be happy.
But in time I started to understand what they meant. I started with small things like choosing to say 'no.' No to negative people, no to negative energy, no to situations that were stressful for me and did not serve me in a positive way. It was hard to do it at first. But eventually, I saw the benefit of choosing to say 'no.' On the flip side I started to say 'yes' to me and stopped feeling bad for taking time for what we now call self care. I was choosing to be happy and healthy. I was choosing to change the way I looked at what happiness is.
Be fully present and enjoy the moment. Live.
"If you want to be happy do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present." ~ Roy T. Bennett
Once we choose to be happy and make small choices that add to it we start to see how being fully present helps support this feeling of happiness. When we are continually worrying about the future or dwelling on the past we deprive ourselves of the happiness the present moment has to offer. I try to turn off the screens and disconnect when I want to be fully present with someone. Another way to be fully present is through the sense of touch. If we are in a moment and find ourselves distracted making a physical connection with the person you are with can help bring you back to the moment. Recently, I found myself distracted when I was at a hockey game with my husband. To bring myself back to the moment I reached out and held his hand or touched his arm. Making a physical connection makes the moment more real and can bring us back to being fully present. Try it and see if it works for you.
Take a happiness inventory
Take a moment to define what happiness means to you. Are you relying on someone to make you happy? Or are you choosing to be by making choices that serve you in a positive way. Life is not happening to you. It is happening for you according to your choices.
Come back tomorrow for more inspiration
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